


When I close my eyes I see you

by JuliaBaggins



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, M/M, Post-Battle of Five Armies, and i suck at writing summaries, and then it gets angsty, there's some fluff at the start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5315876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With a smile, he leaned down and placed soft kisses in Bilbo’s curls; kissing away every single one of the snowflakes. When he was done, he pointed to Bilbo’s nose and said: “You’ve got a snowflake there too.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I close my eyes I see you

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still not over the EE of BOFA (doubt I'll ever be) and somehow this happened...

The first winter winds were blowing across the land and even brought a few lonely snowflakes with them that danced to the ground. 

Bilbo was glad he had chosen to wear his big furry coat, though it still was not really comfortable outside. Well, it wouldn’t have been if he was alone – with Thorin by his side, he felt like nothing could be really bad. He looked at his dwarf king who was standing next to him, his blue eyes looking across the lake in front of them. Bilbo loved this spot; you could see the Long Lake as well as Dale and the Lonely Mountain, and though it had these beautiful panoramic views there were never other people to meet up here.

Thorin turned his head to look at Bilbo and smiled. His hair had gone grey over the years and there were some wrinkles in his face but to Bilbo, he looked as majestic as ever. 

“You’ve got snow in your hair, Master Burglar.” 

Bilbo loved it when Thorin sounded this amused, this _happy_. And as long as the King under the Mountain looked at him with this look in his eyes, he felt like the happiest hobbit in whole middle earth.

“Now will you do something about that?” 

Thorin laughed and stepped closer towards Bilbo so the hobbit had to look up at him. With a smile, he leaned down and placed soft kisses in Bilbo’s curls; kissing away every single one of the snowflakes. When he was done, he pointed to Bilbo’s nose and said: “You’ve got a snowflake there too.” And he kissed Bilbo’s nose.

“And there.” A kiss to his left cheek, then the right.

“And there.” Thorin pointed to Bilbo’s lips and kissed them and Bilbo couldn’t have said how long they stood there at their secret spot, kissing each other like their life depended on it.

 

When they finally broke apart to catch some breath, Bilbo whispered an “I love you.” and his heart warmed when he saw the blush on Thorin’s cheeks. After all these years, Thorin still seemed surprised sometimes when Bilbo told him that he loved him, like he was surprised by his own happiness.

“And I love you, Master Burglar.”

Bilbo got to his toes, placed a soft kiss on Thorin’s lips and said: “It looks like it’s getting dark already; I think we should go home now.” 

He thought of a nice meal in company of the other dwarfs; their cozy chamber with a crackly fire…

 

“No, we can’t.”

Bilbo looked at Thorin in confusion.

“What? Why not? We really should; Kili said he had an important announcement to make during dinner so...”

“Bilbo.”

Bilbo saw the pained look in Thorin’s eyes and wanted to take it away; he couldn’t understand what made his dwarf so _sad_.

“What’s wrong, love?” 

Bilbo’s voice was a whisper and Thorin looked away from him for a moment, as if he couldn’t stand to look into Bilbo’s eyes when he said the following.

“We can’t go home. Because I'm dead. Azog killed me. Don’t you remember, my dear hobbit?”

“Nononono!”

Bilbo felt the tears running down his cheeks and he wanted it to be a lie, he would have given everything to take the truth out of Thorin’s words, but he could already see the horrible wound that Azog's blade had left inside his dwarf's body. The blood was sipping through his clothes and as soon as Thorin collapsed to the ground, the scene changed. 

They were at Ravenhill again. 

Bilbo got down to his knees and took Thorin’s hands in his.

“Please, you can’t leave me, this isn’t happening, no…”

Thorin raised one of his hands and weakly caressed Bilbo’s cheek.

“It already has happened. And you know that, my love.”

Bilbo was shaking his head, unable to get any word out of his mouth. He saw Thorin close his eyes, his last shaky breath disappearing into the cold winter winds. And then Bilbo was alone, Thorin was gone, and Bilbo was screaming; the snowflakes mixed with the tears on his wet cheeks. He was still screaming, because this couldn’t be true, no, in all these years he’d never accept…

 

“…cle? Uncle Bilbo?” 

Someone lightly shook his shoulder and Bilbo woke up, looking into bright blue eyes. Frodo sat down on the bed and took Bilbo’s hands in his. 

“You dreamed of him again, didn't you?” 

Frodo sounded sad and he didn’t say Thorin’s name as he had learned over the years which pain this caused his uncle. Bilbo nodded. 

“It felt so _real_ , like he was still…” He sobbed and Frodo leaned down to hug his uncle. 

After a few moments, Bilbo asked: “What time of the day is it?”

“Afternoon. You wanted to take a nap after we had lunch.”

“Oh, yes, I remember. Well, I guess my nap is over now.” Frodo looked at him, still concerned.

“I’ll be alright, Frodo. Guess I’ll just write some more pages for my book. It helps, you know - to remember.”

Frodo got up and went to the door, where he turned around when Bilbo started to speak again.

“Thank you.” Frodo smiled at his uncle and even on Bilbo’s lips something like a little smile appeared. 

After his nephew had left the room he stood up, went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea and sat down at his desk. He wrote about Lake Town, the barrels, Bard, the people, while the thing he remembered most about this station of their journey was the look in Thorin’s eyes. The look in his eyes when he had seen the mountain again for the first time, standing at the other end of the lake, a promise of gold, of power, but most of all, a promise of _home_...

 

Bilbo looked up to one of the small round windows when he heard laughter outside, in the garden. 

Frodo was sitting next to Samwise Gamgee; a book on his knees. He had often seen his nephew reading to his friend and today, judged by the looks on their faces, it seemed to be a rather funny story. 

Sam leaned forward to take a leaf out of Frodo’s hair and both of them smiled. 

The leaf had fallen down from the tree they sat under; the big tree in the middle of Bag End’s garden. 

Bilbo viewed the oak and thought of blue eyes, looking at him like he was the most precious thing on earth...

**Author's Note:**

> When I close my eyes I see you  
> When I close my eyes you're here  
> In the dead of the night I feel you  
> When I open my eyes you disappear
> 
> \- from "The Road" by Hurts


End file.
